A jar of mayonaise ate my parents
kayolen asked: imagine the orgasm superman could get by shooting a gun at his prostate


Answer:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

crazyguy20076:

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist:

listen here you degenerate poltroon in the spirit of the holidays i am going to shove a walnut so far up your ass i’ll be using your skull as a nutcracker 

Why not just put the walnut in their mouth?  That seems way easier

it’s not about efficiency it’s about FLAIR 

Notes
7197
Posted
5 years ago

foulserpent:

im sure theres people out there with insatiable lusts for grapes but for me i never even think about them unless theyre provided to me. but when im in a situation where i have grapes provided to me im like, wow, i have to consume my body weight in these right now or i will die

(via borzoibabe)

Notes
47161
Posted
5 years ago

bigmysteriousmoon:

bigmysteriousmoon:

combine big mood and same hat for the inexplicably powerful Big Hat

image

heres cyndi lauper perfectly encapsulating the spirit of Big Hat

(via fluent-in-lesbianism)

Notes
20281
Posted
5 years ago
unregistered-hypercam2:
“Thin blue line on fb got hacked so im having a great day so far
”

unregistered-hypercam2:

Thin blue line on fb got hacked so im having a great day so far

(via kickassfunny)

Notes
152520
Posted
5 years ago
angstbotfic:
“ ruffboijuliaburnsides:
“BETTE MIDLER????
”
Bette Midler drags Trump like daily.
”

angstbotfic:

ruffboijuliaburnsides:

BETTE MIDLER????

Bette Midler drags Trump like daily. 

(via kickassfunny)

Notes
41036
Posted
6 years ago

louises-belcher:

sharpay diem is a latin term meaning to bop bop bop bop to the top

(via jazeth)

Notes
144996
Posted
6 years ago

e-jotja:

let me cry for 2 minutes real quick, I’ll be a new bitch on the 3rd minute

(via harrowlwhark)

Notes
130039
Posted
6 years ago

ygdungeongang:

bricklebeary:

anneemay:

image

I love this song

South Korean beauty standards take shit to the next. Fucking. Level. Women are evaluated in totality based on every minor physical detail and whether it matches the ideal to the point where their decision to go under the knife for procedures the likes of blepharoplasty (surgery on their eyelids) is a main determinant of whether they get a job. For them, shit like this is an expectation. Fuck that garbage, burn it up ladies.

In Korea you are literally REQUIRED to have a headshot with your application. Your physical appearance is a major vetting point in the interview. Applicants have literally been told to bleach their skin for jobs. Seoul is the plastic surgery capital of the world.

This is HUGE for them. Support them. Even if you love makeup, their beauty culture is TOXIC. Support this movement

(via damn-funny)

Notes
280588
Posted
6 years ago
fishmech:
“ randomitemdrop:
“Item: horseless chariot
”
Paulus Blarticus
”

fishmech:

randomitemdrop:

Item: horseless chariot

Paulus Blarticus

(via youdieinstantly)

Notes
60454
Posted
6 years ago
TotallyLayouts has Tumblr Themes, Twitter Backgrounds, Facebook Covers, Tumblr Music Player and Tumblr Follower Counter